My Right Hand

Ever since the start of this semester, I can feel my right hand nerves problem is getting worse. My right hand has this problem, when I get overloaded with works, it will numb for like 30 minutes or more. It also happens randomly, and without any sign. I dun want to tell the story of how I got it...... It was not a good story. The problem got worse during the Raya Week. At first, I thought it was okay and fine as it didn't happen for a long time. But, about just a week ago, I realized the numbs came back and it happens rapidly. I can't grab my mouse well with my right hand and I can't draw properly. Whatever I do now is twice the time I used to do it. It hurts, and it is a nightmare to me as I cannot follow my own schedule of working. It is not the time for me to look for a doctor. I have to deal with my assignment before I can go for a check up. The last post on Deviant Art was something I try to use as a test to my hand and the result was I can't draw proper line, every thing will look distorted. Friends out there, this is not a joke and seriously, I'm really worry about my works.

Raya...... But no Holiday for Me......

It's Raya, people all go back for holidays and celebration. Most of my friends are having their holidays and plan to do something interesting and relaxing. I have no idea what kind of relaxation I;m going to have since my course is getting busier and busier as the time flows. So, I'll be going back to Seremban one hour later and come back in tomorrow evening. The rest of my holidays shall be packed with assignments and works...... TwT

I wish I can finish as much of my assignments as I can in this Raya week. Happy Raya to all Muslim friends of mine and Happy Holiday to all non-Muslim friends of mine. Drive safe, play safe, eat safe and sex safe...... Wth!?? I saw that on net...... randomly......

Losing Passion......

I can hardly feel there's any brain juice of mine within my brain. I keep losing passion on doing my assignment. Can't really see if there's any new ideas around to inspire me. The classes are just way too technical, none actually giv me the liberty to express my idea. Well, guess I'm being emo again. Bro going into a Japanese collage soon. Soon or late he will be able to work in one of those big ass company of games...... I really confused and keep wonder if I'll have the chance to do wat I want since the scholarship is binding me, tight...... Not to mention i hav to work for the school for three years. Ass hole!

I am confused and totally helpless. None actually understand my position and situation. I want to study in Canada but the tuition fee is just way too far from approachable. Not mention bro is entering a good school and all the money should go to him before me. I understand my family ability of supplying my education fee, but I am deeply depressed just to know that I will be going nowhere no matter how well I achieve. I guess I'm losing my guts and passion because of such issue. No point to work super hard since the result will be the same. I will still graduate in M'sia and get into work and that's all for my study......

I sometimes really get depressed why I'm stuck in M'sia while my brother get to go to Tokyo. But I know this should not be the issue for me to be envy of my brother. Now, I wish I at least get a happy study life in campus...... But, the distance between me and my friends is getting far. I kinda losing fate in my campus life now.